The Helmet

In the Annals of Ulster you may read the tale of Cath Chluain Tarbh, when Máel Sechnaill and Brian Boru rode together to the conquest of Dublintown and fought on those royal banks Sigtrygg Silkbeard, King of Dublin, Sigurd the Stout, Earl of Orkney, and the fleet their ally Brodir brought from the Isle of Mann.

From the walls of Dublin Lady Sláine ingen Briain watched the battle. Her sympathies had worn too thin over the years of conflict to be strong on either side and it was little she cared, at this distance of time, for the fulfillment of her father’s ambition or even the extension of his old age. Nor had she any concern for her husband’s life, for Sigtrygg paced the wall beside her all day, wisely living to fight another day.

Thus from dawn to dusk, a grim smile on her face, she tracked the swaying armies as they grappled each other on the moss. When, at length, twilight fell and she knew that the omens had come true and Brian was victorious at the cost of his life, she could still laugh at the flight of the Vikings as they splashed into the receding tide, desperate to reach their ships. “The foreigners have gotten their inheritance!” she sneered. “I wonder, is it warm that they are? But they tarry not to be milked, whatever.”

On both sides nigh all the leaders lay slain upon the field. Brian Boru, killed in his tent as he prayed for victory, had been avenged by Ulf the Quarrelsome who found Brodir with Brian’s blood still warm on his sword. Sigurd the Stout died at the hands of Murchad mac Briain, but that heir apparent to the High Kingship of Ireland had not survived the fight either. Máel Sechnaill mac Domnaill alone stood whole and hearty as he led the last charge. Water, churned by a thousand boots, swirled between foemen as the Viking longships drifted away from the shore before the straining flight of their owners.

Foremost in the Irish charge, fifteen-year-old Toirdelbach mac Murchada Ua Briain screamed the O’Brian warcry—lamh-laidir abu! From her post on the walls Lady Sláine caught the glint of his helmet—vain boy, he decorated it with tufts of reddish fur—and recognized her nephew. Fearless he threw himself into the waves; spun around, flung, he emerged again clutching at a Viking warrior who was scrambling over his ship’s side. She strained her eyes as Toir wrestled, striking the Viking’s jerkin with his dagger what time the warrior swung his fists wildly at him. Another wave roared; she lost him in the mist, and when it settled, the boy was gone.

But his helmet rolled in on the morrow’s tide, and amid the aftermath Lady Sláine paused long enough to send it to her niece. —Lamh-laidir abu!

Continue reading “The Helmet”

58-12

So far every trail had led to a dead end.

Take the newspaper he had saved for eighty years, covered in faded ink and antiquated headlines.  Which was the critical clue—Browder Opens 8th Communist Party Convention, Detroit Auto Men Furious at Betrayal, Workers Urged to Pack Bronx Court This Noon?  Or, just as likely, none of the above?  Tiana felt ready to go for a hike, take a shower, and leave the problem for a future generation.

But wait, it got better.  For instance, there were the only highlighted words in his entire Bible: “An evil man seeketh only rebellion: therefore a cruel messenger shall be sent against him.”  The four digits tattooed on his arm: 58-12.  Or the quote scribbled on his desk: “Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!”  It might be a tangled web somewhere in the middle, but just now all she had was loose ends.

And of course, she had to cope with his own solemn charge, ringing out to her from that bewildering will:

I bequeath and devote to my daughter, Tiana Emily Morton (Smith): justice for Katia Kuznet, or her heirs and relations yet living.  To her I also bequeath all my personal effects. To Katia Kuznet, or her living heirs and relations, I bequeath my personal estate and property (including, but not limited to, all intangibles and all tangible personal property including land, stocks, securities, cash, savings, and other realty).

Tiana thought she was the most long-suffering daughter on the planet.  It was bad enough to be randomly deprived of a fortune, but to be assigned as private detective to boot, and left with a batch of clues as cryptic as a 1934 Daily Worker, a quote from Marmion, and a name she’d never heard before, Katia Kuznet…

“Yeah, I loved you too, Dad,” she muttered, glancing at the picture on her desk.  George with baby Emily in his arms, herself, dad on the right.  Plain old dad, with those ordinary gray eyes and the unremarkable persona you’d expect of a John Smith.  For crying out loud, if he were gonna leave a mystery like this behind, why hadn’t he at least had a name she could look up?

Perhaps worst of all, George was all in.  Whenever George went all in on something, rash decisions would probably be made.  So far, though, he’d only made the questionably helpful discovery that Kuznet was the Russian equivalent of Smith.

Tiana slapped a final post-it note on her evidence board.

58-12. Failure to denounce a counterrevolutionary crime,
reliably known to be in preparation or carried out, shall be punishable by—
deprivation of liberty for a term not less than six months.
[6 June 1927 (SU no 49, art. 330)]

Another tid-bit courtesy of George—and the Criminal Code of the Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic.

She stepped back, pushing strands of rebellious hair off her forehead in a gesture of profound thought.  The evidence board looked businesslike and professional, satisfactory as far as it went.

The door flew open and George’s messy iron-gray hair flopped excitedly into the room.

“Ready to go to Russia?”

“Russia?”

George glanced appreciatively at the evidence board.  “I just booked our flights.  So far, every trail has led to Russia.”

Tiana looked blankly at the family photo.  George followed her glance, humming softly.

“The spider bid the mouse, sleep, sleep,
Spider in the house, sleep deep
Don’t wake up or you might find a spider in your mouth…”

Continue reading “58-12”

Clutch, Gas, and Crafts

—by popular demand, it’s the Ada-filled finale to Cutting Grass and Class and Cut Glass and Cats

“Hey girl!  How’s my favorite sister today?”  Julian’s voice breezed through the entryway as he stepped, uninvited and unannounced, into his sister’s home.

“Uncle Julian!” squealed a voice, and six girls descended upon him and began systematically rifling his pockets.

Julian kept his head above their level with difficulty.  “Em, you vagabond, there’s nothing in my hat.  Macy, stop untying my shoes!  Warthog, hand back my credit card right now.”

“If you don’t start calling me by my right name,” the eldest pouted, “I’ll go buy a… a motorcycle!”

“All right, all right,” Julian cried hastily.  “Though there’s not much to choose between Wilhelmina and Warthog.  I don’t know what my favorite sister was thinking…”

“Call me Willy, like everyone else,” Wilhelmina retorted, holding the card up threateningly.

“Well, Willy, I will.  There!  Now where is my favorite sister?!  I came to talk to her, not to be torn apart by all my favorite nieces.”

“Your only sister is in the basement,” someone called out.  “Come on down.”

Julian dragged himself, and the three girls who were still clinging to him, to the door of his sister’s “sewing room.”  He did not advance farther, experience having taught him that if he touched anything in that room he should expect to be pricked, painted, or possibly glued to it forever.

“Ada,” Julian said despairingly, “you gotta do something about these kids.  They’re not ladylike at all.”

“They’re very ladylike around gentlemen,” Ada said.

“My tailored suit does not deserve that slighting remark,” Julian huffed.

Continue reading “Clutch, Gas, and Crafts”

Cut Glass and Cats

—the thrillifying sequel to Cutting Grass and Class

Kat paused on the darkened stairway, holding the cracked glass out in front of her with her right hand. The light from far behind glinted eerily off its angles and barely illuminated the crimson liquid inside. Without turning around, she could still sense impatience coming from the top of the stairs.

“Keep going. Keep going.”

“Get out of my head!” she screamed, her arm shaking and spilling half the blood. She wrapped her left hand more tightly around her right wrist.

“Keep going!” The voice boomed against the narrow passage walls and made every bone in Kat’s body vibrate in response.

“I won’t! I don’t want to!” she sobbed, but she started moving again anyways. There was no resisting the downward sweep of motion, a vortex slithering towards the bottom of the staircase. She let go of her arm, ignoring the blood, turning and trying to grab the railing, but her hand refused to latch onto the cold iron.

“Let me go!” she screamed. “Don’t send me down there! I don’t want to vanish. I don’t want to die… not anymore…

Continue reading “Cut Glass and Cats”

Cutting Grass and Class

Julian Saunders was bored. He was even bored of waving his fingers through his hair and looking bored—though he was only bored of that because there was no one to see him.

He sat down in his gaming chair and rolled across the room, stopping to look down from his full-length window. The sunlight sparkled attractively on the family pool and cast the shadows of the trees behind it across the manicured lawn. A momentary smile flitted across Julian’s face when he remembered how he’d shocked his mom yesterday by jumping into the pool with a full dress suit. But today wasn’t even hot enough for such pranks.

Julian turned his eyes back inside, searching for something to do. He ran them lazily around the magazine-cover-perfect room, taking in his rack of video games, his shelf of Star Wars LEGO sets, his display case with that World Series fly ball he’d caught. Julian was proud of his room, but pride is not the right sort of sentiment to speed time up, so after a few minutes of self-complacency, he was more bored than ever.

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Lampstands: A Short Story

But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent. —Revelation 2:4–5

Jason Sloboda, DDiv, pushed the squeaking old church door back on its hinges.  He stumbled backwards as the rank, musty air hit him.  It was worse even than he had expected.

He stepped inside, disturbing the dust of decades.  Cobwebs hung thickly in the corners and paint was peeling from the walls.  An old bulletin, coated in idle doodles, lay moldering on the vestry carpet.

Jason took it all in, seeing potential instead of problems.  Like a soldier reclaiming territory, he felt half-pierced by the neglected building, once a fortress of the kingdom of heaven—and half-triumphant to know that it was his now, to rebuild for his King.

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Wayland Terraformers, INC: Rogue Planet

(Previous Episode)

Fenmoor is a little known planet in the deep suneast, barely lit by a red dwarf star whose rays struggle through a fog of rock dust.  Life on Fenmoor is gloomy and tough, and so are those who live there–outcasts from the solar system, too bad at being bad to stay out of jail anywhere else in the galaxy.

But then, Fenmoor is a rogue planet–not owned by Earthcorp or Krancore, or by one of the little guys like Liberium or Envision.  It’s not even all owned by a single person–like the Rockefeller System or the Duchy of Jupiter-Winslow.  Most of Fenmoor is no man’s land, and the rest is a medley of tiny stake outs–usually a long day’s walk from each other–where each family independently farms just enough to feed and clothe themselves–most of the time.

Without capital–and without resources to attract it–terraforming has been slow in Fenmoor.  Aegis, the biggest terraformer of the galaxy, hasn’t touched it with the long end of a stick ever since Jim Settler (formerly the notorious con artist Jamie Kalypso) scammed them out of a fifty acre wheat field and the waterworks to match by promising an Earthcorp job that wasn’t his to offer.  Aegis tried to get Krancore to go after Settler, but Fenmoor was too far off the beaten path to go hunting con artists and besides, Krancore’s board felt that it served Aegis right for wanting to work with Earthcorp.

Can anything interesting happen on such a planet?

Wayland Terraformers, INC: A Little Bit of Everything

This story was inspired by a recent collaborative LEGO project I did with my siblings. I enjoyed caricaturing our personalities for the story.

Jaydie (Geneva), H.O. (Josiah), West Alia (Anna), Bronth (Isaiah)

Jaydie was late to lunch as usual and H.O threw a sandwich at her.  “You missed the briefing,” he said.

“No one told me it was an important one,” Jaydie said, deftly catching the sandwich as it floated through the hatch.

“You’re supposed to be at ALL the briefings,” said Bronth, lazily stretched out on the roof, sucking a straw.  “Also this one was actually important.”

“Sorry, decided getting the ship’s reserve air condensers back up and running was more critical.  You’ll have to fill me in.”

“Well,” Bronth said, sitting up and flipping his holographic visor down over his face, “when the meeting started we were at T minus two hours of landing on Craxis L.  Now it’s T minus forty-three minutes.”  He touched the right of his visor and swiped, looking for the first slide.

What says the slide?? Read on… (but don’t expect a precise answer)

Prating Pirates 2

Previous Prating Pirates (loosely connected).

Emperor: Are you sure this is safe?

Dragon: *Roars*

Ryuu: Sure it’s safe; see that dragon?  We’ve got to put the gold we’re bringing back there and then – ! No one could ever get past my dragon!

Emperor: *dryly* That’s my point.  

*puffing*

Emperor: These chests are heavy, there’s a dragon in the way who we’re supposed to get past, and…

Ryuu: AND all your gold will be safe from pirates in just a moment; here, I’ll get these behind the dragon, whose name shall be… Akilakomey, and you can go.

Emperor: Well, well then…  good day…

*Emperor’s feet shuffling quickly*

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Description of a Dragon

Swirled the milk-white snow; whistled the mountain wind; rattled the hollow pines.  Winter.

White, a wall of white; wind, a wave of wind; wood, a whirl of woods.  Winter – the wraiths of winter.

Snow, snow, snow! – as far as the eye could see – which was not very far.  Had the landscape been visible, its solitary grandeur would have been more awe inspiring than even the white world of swirling snow; rocky outcroppings, coated now with a mantle of purity; tall evergreens, pointing long fingers at the airy vault; grand peaks, majestic symbols of age and stability.  But the landscape was not visible.

Instead, a traveler would have been haunted only by the ghosts of pine trees – cheerful ghosts, for the day was a bright though not a clear one, and the crisp crackle of their clanging boughs suggested no midnight horrors – cheerful ghosts, looming through the whirl of snow – light, powdery snow, lifted by the breeze, dropped by the clouds, puffing in the air, dancing to the tune of the wind’s whistle.  But there was no traveler.

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